Measuring Cats

Why one would want to measure a cat is one question. Why a cat would be willing to be measured is quite another.  As we all know, cats do what cats do and don't really care about what any other species wants, or needs, done.  So back to the first question.  Why would one want to measure a cat.  There may be many reasons for this.  To check said cat's growth rate, much like we measure a child - how big has he/she grown?  Why hasn't he/she grown as much as he/she should?  Is this normal for a child - I mean cat, and how would one know?  I'm sure there must be growth tables some place for a cat based on age and normal growth rates, but how would a person know.  Better yet, why would a person need to know this - unless said person has a pedigree cat that must meet requirements for a cat show.  Not, of course to be confused with a fashion show, though both strut along a cat walk to show off their fur, or clothes, or whatever it is they are modelling. 
However, since none of the above are important to this little tale (not to be confused with a tail, of which cats are very proud).  What is important is why a CAT would want to be measured and how would one go about doing so.  There are a number of methods that could be used for this particular event.  A person could wait until the cat is sleeping and stretched out across the bed, couch or whatever space this particular cat is stretched out on.  However, cat's are not pleased when woken from a perfectly good nap to find his/her human with a tape measure trying to get a semi-accurate reading, and so will either curl into a ball or walk off with the human in pursuit in order to complete the task.
So what should one measure on a cat.  Length is of course, important, but which length?  Nose to tip of tail?  Head and body but not tail?  What about height?  How high does your cat stand?  How would one know if said cat is on the move?  Does a person wait until the cat is standing next to that human, and then human mark where the cat comes up to on the persons leg?  Again, should one wait until said cat is sleeping without being curled in order to try to gain the measurement, and how accurate would it be?  What about width?  Does one measure a cat across the front, back or someplace in the middle?  What exactly does one need such measurements for?  Is the cat being fitted for a suit and therefore the measurements are important?  Perhaps the cat is traveling (with or without the human) and the airlines need to know what size the cat is.  If this is the case, depending on if the cat is traveling first class or economy, is it so that the cat can sit on the seat with an appropriately sized seat belt?  Or maybe it's so that said cat can be stuffed in a soft carrier and shoved under the seat in front, much like a purse or backpack.  That being the case, how happy would the cat be over this kind of indignity? To be sure, said cat would certainly make his/her displeasure known in a most vociferous manner on the level of a screaming baby, entertaining all other passengers with its pitiful wailing.  If the cat is traveling as cargo, wouldn't it make more sense to need to know the size of the crate it would be in?
I have no idea what the answers to any of these questions would be.  So until next time I have to measure my cat, I'll leave it at that.