Seven alternatives to landmines

Ok.  So the headline really said seven alternatives to landlines, but somehow I think this is better.  Actually I can think of way more than seven, but what do I know.  The question is what kind of landmine and where is it located?  Is it a real one that causes way to many deaths and injuries, or is it more the metaphorical kind, that while can cause problems, is definitely not deadly - usually.  Personally, I think we'd all be better off if everyone just stuck to the metaphorical kind.  So let's examine the metaphorical landmine.  I mean really, how many ways can you put your foot in your mouth and set off all kinds of problems for both you and others.  For example:  men are always saying that they get into trouble with women when a woman asks a "no win" question (and ladies we all know what those kinds of questions are).  Of course you men never have the right answer because (and here's a little secret for you) there are no right answers.  Like the real landmines, the answer is hidden and you never know when stepping in the wrong place - metaphorically speaking - will trigger an explosion.  You know the questions.  "Does this outfit/dress/pair of pants make me look too fat?"  "Am I wearing too much make-up?"  "What do you think of my hair?" or the other much broader question, "So what do you think?" and you just know, guys, that you really have no idea what she's referring to and you know that no matter what you say, it's going to be wrong.  So, if you're smart, and I know you all are, you say something as non-commital as possible like, "Nice" or "no" with a quick glance up to indicate you heard the question but not long enough to have to elaborate.  This accomplishes two things.  We women are content in knowing that you kind of paid attention, and saves you men from setting off an explosion that can lead to all kinds of other issues that you really don't want to get into because you know it's not going to end well.  What does all this have to do with landlines?  Absolutely nothing.  Until next time.