Why we cook the books

What an interesting idea.  Cooking your books.  Not to be confused with cookbooks, but actually cooking books.  The question is, of course, how are the books cooked and which ones?  Are they marinated first, then dipped in a batter and deep fried?  What about poached?  Sauted with onions, garlic and spices?  Are the books roasted and what kind of vegetables are served with them?  What size of book is used?  Is this a family event, in which case a large encyclopedia would do, or is this a snack, and a paperback romance consumed?  Do these books microwave well if a person is in a hurry or do they just get really chewy and lose their flavour?  Can you barbeque your favourite books and how would you know if they are done?  Does the cover get all nice and crispy or just tender and juicy.  If a person is cooking a cookbook, what kind of cookbook is it?  Are we talking French, in which a very large variety of sauces are available, or Mexican with all those snappy spices.  What about if it's Indian cooking.  Does it lose something in the translation if the right spices aren't used, and if you aren't used to cooking with cardamom, chili and tumeric, how would you know if you used too much - or too little.  What if it's a Russian or Chinese cook book and you live in a completely different part of the world.  Could you get all the same ingredients to cook your books with?  The next question is how do you know if you are even serving the right book to your guests.  What if they are vegitarian?  Do you offer meat free books with tofu and soy?  What about jackets and covers?  Can you bake a book in it's jacket and does it come out all soft and steamy just waiting for that butter or sour cream?  What if it has no flavour, no matter how many spices or sauces or veggies you've added?  Then what would you do?  I have no idea.  I don't even know why a person would want to cook a book in the first place, but I suspect it's got a very shady side to it all.  Until next time.